Benedicamus Domino!
November is a month for reflection and taking account for me. It was on November 11, 2005 when I found myself suddenly open to Christianity again after years of looking elseware, and it was on the same day in 2006 that I was baptized as an Orthodox Christian. The strange thing was that we had scheduled the baptism originally for another weekend entirely, but circumstances beyond our control conspired to make it necessary that the service should be performed on November 11.
November has traditionally been a spiritually-active time for me. It was in November several years ago that I found myself beginning to embrace Pagan beliefs. It was in November of last year that I went for a three-month sojourn to a small Benedictine Orthodox monastery in Hamilton to test what I thought might be a vocation to the religious life, and it is in November of this year that I have come to a decision, and that decision is that I cannot hide myself away any longer. I can't just sit on the shelf. I have to have friends and intelligent conversation in my life. I have to commune with people where possible and to develop relationships of depth and meaning.
I have often defaulted to a strange and solitary existance throughout my life, but this is just no way to live if one can help it! To isolate is harmful most of the time. To consistently be alone and to disengage with life can cause very negative results. It is true that my occupations (writing, blogging and music) can draw me into solitude and that this solitude is necessary for the doing of said occupations, but they need not take up my entire life. I just had a lovely late-night conversation with a friend whose voice I'd never heard though we had talked on and off for about ten years via the internet. This led me to wonder why I am so reticent and reserved. I mean, this friend and I have shared many intimate thoughts via our blogs and such, but for some reason, I never took her up on several invitations she made to converse. This is a failing of mine, because I love conversation!
In fact, during another November, I recall a very memorable conversation between myself and a friend. This friend and I had not spoken for years, but as soon as I knew her number, I called her and we talked and talked and talked! I'm sure that some of the news I told her was less-than desirable for her to hear, but we just talked as though we'd never stopped. That's really the definition of a true friend. If you can just start talking after a long dry-spell as though you'd never ended the former conversation, then you know that you've got something special and that you are, as Anne Shirley would say, 'kindred spirits.'
I have been fortunate to have a few of these kindred spirits in my lifetime, and the best part is that I'm still meeting others! I maintain a wonderful relationship with the Abbot of the monastery where I went last year, for instance. We both share a similar outlook on life, and we're forever trading interesting Youtube finds or poetic things or the like. It's lovely!
I really don't know where this entry is going, and I ought to get some sleep. So, as Rachmaninov's Vespers (Vespers and Matins really) wends its musical way onwards, I suppose I'll bid those who read this experiment in introspection adieu for now and give my tired body and soul a rest.
Deo Gratias!
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