Benedicamus Domino!
There are times when the reality of living in a world that is imperfect prevents us from seeing the joy that is Christ's triumph over our fallen state. This has happened to me several times in my life, and it will likely happen several more times. For instance, in the past two months, I have heard of two tragic deaths involving family members of acquaintances of mine and drunk driving. It is sometimes easier to process a death which is due to natural causes, but when you know that someone's choice contributed to the death, any peace you might find over time can be blocked by anger at the person who made the choice to drive while drunk, to take the example I cited.
It is all very well for us to talk about not judging and forgiving those who wrong us, but how do we do this when the rubber really meets the road? How can we find peace when we're confronted with the death of a beloved person which we know was caused by another person's ill-conceived choice? This is a really difficult thing to learn, and it is a learned behaviour, because it involves seeing ourselves as just as culpable for the state of our fallen world as the person who made that choice to drive drunk. If we are truly following the path of repentance, we will, by God's grace, come to a knowledge of our own place in the fallen picture of the world as we find it, and once we really begin to see this, it will be very difficult for us to be angry, even when such a clear wrong has been committed. This coming to terms with our own need for salvation should not include false despair or false humility, but the process we follow likely will include these things as we begin to chip away at our self-assured belief that "I have done nothing wrong." This is our ego talking, of course, for it is very difficult for a human to live in this world without ever doing anything to wrong someone else. This is why forgiveness (both asking for and receiving it) is so important.
Forgiveness is necessary not only to help the person who has wronged us, but also to heal our own souls. Forgiveness is not about condoning someone's actions. It is, instead, about showing mercy, and mercy can only be given to those who do not deserve it, or it isn't mercy. The Old Testament law calls for an eye for an eye, and we often use this to justify our anger and our wish for retribution when a wrong has cut us to the very core. However, as a priest once said in a sermon I heard: "how often do we restrain ourselves only to wish that an eye be taken for an eye? Isn't it more usual that we wish more wrong be done to the person than the wrong they have done to us?" Once the fire of vengeance is lit, it is fueled by the wind of anger, and it is very difficult to stamp it out.
So, what is the answer? Do we just ignore our anger and hope it will go away? Do we pretend to be nice little children when all we really want to do is to hurt the other person in the way that we have been hurt? I believe that anger and grief need to be acknowledged. They need to be voiced, even if it is only God who hears us. He is strong. He can take being yelled at, and just because we're angry with Him or with our fellow humans, it doesn't mean that we're turning our backs on God. It only means that we're looking at ourselves in an honest way and allowing our emmotions to be released. Emotions are a part of us, but we often confuse ourselves into thinking that they're the most important part. They, in fact, are more like the foam on the sea or a cloud which blocks the sun for a while but which passes away later. The problem comes when they infect the will. When emotions infect the will, they can paralyze us and cause us to become tossed to and fro, and this is how emotions can grow into passions.
The important thing is to be gentle with ourselves during times when we find our emotions getting the better of us. Peter, when he wished to come to Christ over the water, found himself sinking, but he did not try to fix it himself. Instead, he called on Christ to save him, and soon, he was walking on the water again. We may feel as though we're drowning, but if we can see ourselves as contributors to the fallen world rather than only victims of it, then there is hope, because we will realize our need for salvation and maybe even the fact that the person who has wronged us is able to be saved as well. I'm not saying that this is a quick process, and I'm not saying that we can do it on our own. However, it is the path that we need to try and follow if we are going to be followers of Christ. May God help all those suffering in this fallen world, and may the souls of the faithful, through His mercy, rest in pease!!
Deo Gratias!
No comments:
Post a Comment