Benedicamus Domino!
I am certain that the thing on many people's minds this week is the horrifying tragedy of the bombings in Boston on Monday. Whoever has done this, it is clear that they wanted to cause definite harm by loading the bombs with ball bearings. How can we make sense of this? It is really impossible to even try, but the real question is: why does this surprise us?
I mean, I know why it surprises us. I know why evil deeds which seem simply to cause harm and to have no possible redemptive purpose surprise us, but should they? They should shock us. They should offend against our sensibilities, because even in our fallen state, we have a sense of fair play and a sense of honour. However, I sometimes think that the fact that we're all not out there just beating each other up every day is surprising. I often think myself at any rate above that sort of thing. What need have I for violence whether of word or deed toward my neighbour? I live in a civilized culture, don't I? Well, if I were really to look at the thoughts, every little thought I mean, that swirl around in my brain, I'd soon realize that my thoughts are just as bad as, if not worse than, the kind of thoughts which lead people to attack others in this massive and grotesque manner. The truth also is that I am capable of wounding just as deeply with my words as with those ball bearings. It gives one pause to think this way.
Of course, the other question that gets asked at times like this is: how could a benevolent God allow such a thing to happen? Why is there still so much horror caused by man's inhumanity to man? It's simple and yet not simple. First, we have free will, and this doesn't mean that our wills are free to a point. This means that we are free to choose to do *anything* we wish to do. God can perhaps warn us. He can perhaps give us morality or a sense of honour to combat and to check our free will, but if we throw all that away, and we can do it if we set our minds and souls to it, then nothing stands in our way. We still have the wills which were given us when our destiny was to become rulers of the earth, but we lack or only have fragments of the God-given wisdom to exercise our wills correctly.
As Christians, we believe that God came to us as a man so that we might be made like Him, so that we might be made into the kind of noble and powerful beings that He always wanted us to be. I only pray that those killed in the bombings will rest in peace, and I further pray that those responsible will be brought to earthly justice. I actually don't wish Heavenly justice on them, because I don't know what that would mean. I'd rather see them be healed and forgiven for whatever deeds they have done. Still, that takes an act of will on our part as well as an act of unbounded mercy on God's. We have to ask to be forgiven. We have to know ourselves to be in need of help. This is a difficult thing to know in a middle-class Western life such as mine anyway. I also pray and hope that charity and mercy will come out of this tragedy, that people will help each other and support each other as neighbours and fellow pilgrims on this earth. That's all that can be done now by the average person. We can't investigate or hunt culprits down or anything. All we can do is lend what strength we have and what prayers we have and hope that some good can come from the ashes of this evil!
Deo Gratias!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Speak your Truth Quietly and Clearly!
Benedicamus Domino!
I may have used this subject-line in another entry, but it seems very applicable today. The line comes from a strange and interesting little meditation on life called Desiderata. It's by a man named Max Ehrmann, and I've always loved it. "Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there can be in silence!" I think I'm misquoting, but well, man! How can you go wrong with something like that? It contains many maxims which I have tried to take for my life. One of these is: "Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars." This is a great truth. I don't think it means that you should just let yourself be or not pay attention to what needs improvement, but rather, I think that it means that it is right to seek for healing, right to end old patterns and find more healthy ones perhaps, or to find new ways of dealing with old wounds. Sometimes, the old advice from our mothers is true: "For heaven's sake, don't pick at it!" Sometimes, letting the wound be a wound is best, and sometimes finding a good ointment or medicine is best. Whatever happens, doing the kindest thing for yourself must in the end result in a better self, a more well-developed and less broken self.
For me, the path to wholeness is with Christ. For others, it may lie elseware, and whether I believe your path leads to the same place to which the one I'm on leads doesn't really matter. Most of the time, no matter what we like to say in this age of tolerance and non-judgmentalism, differing paths do not end up at the same place. One only needs to look deeply into any philosophy or religion or worldview to know where it claims to lead, and while a lot of the outer trappings may be the same, a lot of the moral framework is there, the insides are fundamentally different in most cases, with Christianity perhaps being the most different of them all. It is radical to be a Christian. It is radical to believe that God, the Creator of the Universe, became a man, a true man, and truly died, and truly rose from the dead. The very idea is utterly incomprehensible to the human mind! However, does this mean that I can disparage someone else who doesn't know Christ or has chosen not to know Him? (To say "believe in" is just difficult here, so I'm saying something else to make it clearer.) No, I cannot do that. All I can do, all any of us can do, is speak our truths quietly and clearly. The other side of the coin is that we must also listen. We must also really hear, even if we don't want to hear what is said, even if we find what is said repugnant. We must be willing to set that aside, to listen, and then to speak in our turn. Only then can a true connection be made. Only then can true understanding emerge!
All this pussyfooting around, all this choosing just the right words to convey something so as not to offend someone else, it's just got to stop! Words in themselves should not be offensive! Words should not be loaded with baggage from the past. Of course they are, of course we live in a society filled with loaded words, but what if we all agreed to just put the baggage down? What would happen then? Might the barriers between "us" and "them" actually come down? Might we actually live in a society which truly gives us the right to free speech and free fellowship? There was a woman I knew who was fired from her job because she went against the job's policy of saying "happy holidays" and said "merry Christmas" to someone on the phone. The truly absurd thing about this is that the client on the phone had said "merry Christmas" first and the person in question was just returning the greeting! Has it really come to this?
I mean, if Christianity truly became the hegemony that everyone thinks it is, I still would have a problem with a policy which disallowed me to return someone's greeting using the wording of their choice. I'm not, for instance, going to tell a Jewish person who practices their faith "Merry Christmas." If they said it to me and if it was Chanukah, I'd wish them a happy one of those. If they said "merry Christmas" to me and it was not Chanukah, then I would likely say: "happy holidays," because presumably they'd be on holiday from their work or something. But all this watering down of things just has to stop! We are not all the same, we will never be all the same. We are all gloriously and wonderfully different, and it's time we all got to grips with that and stopped worrying so much about offending each other or being offended in turn!
So, there's my truth for the day, spoken perhaps loudly and opaquely, but there it is nonetheless. I refuse to allow the English language to be reduced to Orwellian Newspeak!
Deo Gratias!
I may have used this subject-line in another entry, but it seems very applicable today. The line comes from a strange and interesting little meditation on life called Desiderata. It's by a man named Max Ehrmann, and I've always loved it. "Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there can be in silence!" I think I'm misquoting, but well, man! How can you go wrong with something like that? It contains many maxims which I have tried to take for my life. One of these is: "Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars." This is a great truth. I don't think it means that you should just let yourself be or not pay attention to what needs improvement, but rather, I think that it means that it is right to seek for healing, right to end old patterns and find more healthy ones perhaps, or to find new ways of dealing with old wounds. Sometimes, the old advice from our mothers is true: "For heaven's sake, don't pick at it!" Sometimes, letting the wound be a wound is best, and sometimes finding a good ointment or medicine is best. Whatever happens, doing the kindest thing for yourself must in the end result in a better self, a more well-developed and less broken self.
For me, the path to wholeness is with Christ. For others, it may lie elseware, and whether I believe your path leads to the same place to which the one I'm on leads doesn't really matter. Most of the time, no matter what we like to say in this age of tolerance and non-judgmentalism, differing paths do not end up at the same place. One only needs to look deeply into any philosophy or religion or worldview to know where it claims to lead, and while a lot of the outer trappings may be the same, a lot of the moral framework is there, the insides are fundamentally different in most cases, with Christianity perhaps being the most different of them all. It is radical to be a Christian. It is radical to believe that God, the Creator of the Universe, became a man, a true man, and truly died, and truly rose from the dead. The very idea is utterly incomprehensible to the human mind! However, does this mean that I can disparage someone else who doesn't know Christ or has chosen not to know Him? (To say "believe in" is just difficult here, so I'm saying something else to make it clearer.) No, I cannot do that. All I can do, all any of us can do, is speak our truths quietly and clearly. The other side of the coin is that we must also listen. We must also really hear, even if we don't want to hear what is said, even if we find what is said repugnant. We must be willing to set that aside, to listen, and then to speak in our turn. Only then can a true connection be made. Only then can true understanding emerge!
All this pussyfooting around, all this choosing just the right words to convey something so as not to offend someone else, it's just got to stop! Words in themselves should not be offensive! Words should not be loaded with baggage from the past. Of course they are, of course we live in a society filled with loaded words, but what if we all agreed to just put the baggage down? What would happen then? Might the barriers between "us" and "them" actually come down? Might we actually live in a society which truly gives us the right to free speech and free fellowship? There was a woman I knew who was fired from her job because she went against the job's policy of saying "happy holidays" and said "merry Christmas" to someone on the phone. The truly absurd thing about this is that the client on the phone had said "merry Christmas" first and the person in question was just returning the greeting! Has it really come to this?
I mean, if Christianity truly became the hegemony that everyone thinks it is, I still would have a problem with a policy which disallowed me to return someone's greeting using the wording of their choice. I'm not, for instance, going to tell a Jewish person who practices their faith "Merry Christmas." If they said it to me and if it was Chanukah, I'd wish them a happy one of those. If they said "merry Christmas" to me and it was not Chanukah, then I would likely say: "happy holidays," because presumably they'd be on holiday from their work or something. But all this watering down of things just has to stop! We are not all the same, we will never be all the same. We are all gloriously and wonderfully different, and it's time we all got to grips with that and stopped worrying so much about offending each other or being offended in turn!
So, there's my truth for the day, spoken perhaps loudly and opaquely, but there it is nonetheless. I refuse to allow the English language to be reduced to Orwellian Newspeak!
Deo Gratias!
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Always, We Begin Again!
Benedicamus Domino!
This is the first anniversary of the day on which I began this blog. Though its seeds were planted elseware on the net, it was not begun in earnest until April 11, 2012. I'm not going to do a year in review, as I already did something of the kind at New Years, but I will reflect a little bit on the last year and whether my journey has indeed taken me anywhere.
I began this blog as a way to define for myself what it is to live authentically, to live more for eternal things than for those things which are fleeting in this world, but what I've come to realize during this last year is that it's fine to embrace the transitory so long as we know that it is transitory and fully acknowledge this. The catch is that our whole culture is based on trying to live as though the things which do not last in this world should last, and if they don't, we're somehow doing something wrong or should do something right to make them last. This isn't far from certain ancient faiths which involved doing rituals and propitiating gods or ancestral spirits to ensure fertile crops or healthy children. I suppose we will always make these equasions in our minds: if I do X just right, I'll get Y. However, the danger here is trying to make something mortal into something eternal by sheer effort of will or by following fads which promise much but deliver very little.
The fact is that we live in a world that is filled with death--with decay. However, in the midst of this tendency to decay or to run down, the universe gives us brilliant signs of life, of life deeper than what our senses can perceive, though even that life is pretty amazing to contemplate! And as a Christian, I believe that Christ's incarnation, death and resurrection has actually reversed this principle of decay, or has shown us how to leave it behind in favour of the life that is in Him. And what is this path? It is summed up in the words of Mary at her Annunciation: "Behold the handmaid (servant) of the Lord! Be it unto me according to thy word!" Gabriel gave her a message which she could hardly credit, but although she questioned him about it, in the end, she said: "So be it. I won't oppose this. I won't stand in the way of this strange and somewhat frightening thing." This is what we have to do. We have to learn to listen for God in our lives and then to say: "Amen!" This is how the thief on the cross repented. It was in a single moment as he was being punnished for admitted crimes.
God quite simply wants to dwell within us and to change us from the inside out, and we're really the only obstacle in His way. We have spent ages as a race building walls, temples, altars to ourselves. We have sacrificed others on those altars, stepping on them to cause our own stars to rise higher and higher. Unfortunately, what we call stars are only mere candles or sparks in comparison to the light which God gives to us, and they burn out all too soon, but while they burn, they set others on fire and cause conflagrations which destroy whole civilizations and perhaps worse, sometimes even individual souls.
The problem is that these sparkes are untamed. They blow around on the winds of change and chance, but we have the ability to change this. We have the agency in our universe to still our little spark and to fuel it with God's flame. It will steady us and cause our destructive sparks of fallen life to be changed into true stars, true suns around which others will orbit. But first, we have to allow what we think is our life to be killed. We must stop building the temple to the self, must stop constructing the wall of ego and passion. God's fire is ten million times more consuming than our little feeble spark. It will, if we give it the chance, burn down the walls separating us from Him, and it will transmute us, will lessen the death that is in us and give us new life. The wheat must be buried in order to come to life! The ego must be burned away for the God-created self to emerge and to flourish in the light of day.
This, in the last analysis, is what living for joy for me is about. I seek God's joy, God's life, because quite simply, without Him, I'm dead. I must learn to be grateful for every day I'm given and to make each of those days an offering in return, to say with Mary every day: "Behold the handmaid of the Lord! Be it unto me according to Thy word!" Of course, Rome wasn't built in a day. I cann't be like the thief on the cross. My spirit would do it! Perhaps even my heart would do it, but there is still the wall, still the ego to deal with and to oppose. As St. Benedict says: "Always, we begin again." Always, we're being shown how far we have to go, but this should not be a cause for despair. It should fill us with happiness. We should be filled with joy, because once we know there's a wall, we can learn to stop building it higher and we can let God's all-consuming fire work on us, for though it destroys, it also gives life and causes our little spark of soul to be blown into a true and steady flame of love and mercy. This is what we do it all for: to become more loving, more charitable, more merciful, more truly human than we can be on our own and in our fallen state.
This year has been intense for me. Have all my goals been met? Not yet. Have I learned much? Definitely, and the best part is that the journey isn't over yet! It will never end unless I end it. I will never stop growing unless I kill it. I intend to let it grow, even if it means admitting hard truths. God, Christ, what He wants to make humanity and the whole universe is more than worth a little difficulty on my part! So, onward I go, wherever my path leads me!
Deo Gratias!
This is the first anniversary of the day on which I began this blog. Though its seeds were planted elseware on the net, it was not begun in earnest until April 11, 2012. I'm not going to do a year in review, as I already did something of the kind at New Years, but I will reflect a little bit on the last year and whether my journey has indeed taken me anywhere.
I began this blog as a way to define for myself what it is to live authentically, to live more for eternal things than for those things which are fleeting in this world, but what I've come to realize during this last year is that it's fine to embrace the transitory so long as we know that it is transitory and fully acknowledge this. The catch is that our whole culture is based on trying to live as though the things which do not last in this world should last, and if they don't, we're somehow doing something wrong or should do something right to make them last. This isn't far from certain ancient faiths which involved doing rituals and propitiating gods or ancestral spirits to ensure fertile crops or healthy children. I suppose we will always make these equasions in our minds: if I do X just right, I'll get Y. However, the danger here is trying to make something mortal into something eternal by sheer effort of will or by following fads which promise much but deliver very little.
The fact is that we live in a world that is filled with death--with decay. However, in the midst of this tendency to decay or to run down, the universe gives us brilliant signs of life, of life deeper than what our senses can perceive, though even that life is pretty amazing to contemplate! And as a Christian, I believe that Christ's incarnation, death and resurrection has actually reversed this principle of decay, or has shown us how to leave it behind in favour of the life that is in Him. And what is this path? It is summed up in the words of Mary at her Annunciation: "Behold the handmaid (servant) of the Lord! Be it unto me according to thy word!" Gabriel gave her a message which she could hardly credit, but although she questioned him about it, in the end, she said: "So be it. I won't oppose this. I won't stand in the way of this strange and somewhat frightening thing." This is what we have to do. We have to learn to listen for God in our lives and then to say: "Amen!" This is how the thief on the cross repented. It was in a single moment as he was being punnished for admitted crimes.
God quite simply wants to dwell within us and to change us from the inside out, and we're really the only obstacle in His way. We have spent ages as a race building walls, temples, altars to ourselves. We have sacrificed others on those altars, stepping on them to cause our own stars to rise higher and higher. Unfortunately, what we call stars are only mere candles or sparks in comparison to the light which God gives to us, and they burn out all too soon, but while they burn, they set others on fire and cause conflagrations which destroy whole civilizations and perhaps worse, sometimes even individual souls.
The problem is that these sparkes are untamed. They blow around on the winds of change and chance, but we have the ability to change this. We have the agency in our universe to still our little spark and to fuel it with God's flame. It will steady us and cause our destructive sparks of fallen life to be changed into true stars, true suns around which others will orbit. But first, we have to allow what we think is our life to be killed. We must stop building the temple to the self, must stop constructing the wall of ego and passion. God's fire is ten million times more consuming than our little feeble spark. It will, if we give it the chance, burn down the walls separating us from Him, and it will transmute us, will lessen the death that is in us and give us new life. The wheat must be buried in order to come to life! The ego must be burned away for the God-created self to emerge and to flourish in the light of day.
This, in the last analysis, is what living for joy for me is about. I seek God's joy, God's life, because quite simply, without Him, I'm dead. I must learn to be grateful for every day I'm given and to make each of those days an offering in return, to say with Mary every day: "Behold the handmaid of the Lord! Be it unto me according to Thy word!" Of course, Rome wasn't built in a day. I cann't be like the thief on the cross. My spirit would do it! Perhaps even my heart would do it, but there is still the wall, still the ego to deal with and to oppose. As St. Benedict says: "Always, we begin again." Always, we're being shown how far we have to go, but this should not be a cause for despair. It should fill us with happiness. We should be filled with joy, because once we know there's a wall, we can learn to stop building it higher and we can let God's all-consuming fire work on us, for though it destroys, it also gives life and causes our little spark of soul to be blown into a true and steady flame of love and mercy. This is what we do it all for: to become more loving, more charitable, more merciful, more truly human than we can be on our own and in our fallen state.
This year has been intense for me. Have all my goals been met? Not yet. Have I learned much? Definitely, and the best part is that the journey isn't over yet! It will never end unless I end it. I will never stop growing unless I kill it. I intend to let it grow, even if it means admitting hard truths. God, Christ, what He wants to make humanity and the whole universe is more than worth a little difficulty on my part! So, onward I go, wherever my path leads me!
Deo Gratias!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Thoughts
Benedicamus Domino!
I usually come to this journal when I'm feeling pensive, and tonight is no exception. I just heard of the death of a man whom I only vaguely knew. He appears to have died in his sleep of what may be a heart attack. He was in his forties. I saw him in January and he seemed in good spirits, but he didn't know the end was coming. He had no way of knowing it. Indeed, very few of us do know when our lives will end, none of us very precisely at any rate. It always gets me when I hear of deaths like this, deaths not due to accident or anything but which happen while a person is asleep or in some instantaneous way which is completely unforeseen by the person or unpreventable.
As a Christian, I'm supposed to sort of take these things in stride. I'm supposed to remember that death comes to us all and that we know not when our souls will be required of us, to speak biblically about it, but it still gets me. It still shakes me up. It still makes me feel like I've wasted my life or am wasting it, that I take time for granted and not as a gift to be treasured and used productively. This man has left children behind, older children yes, but they are barely out of their teens. What could be the reason for that? I know what the reason is according to the theology to which I subscribe. We live in a fallen world, a world filled with death, that is with decay. Things in this world are transitory, including our mortal lives. Did God take him as some sort of mercy? I'll never know of course until my own life ends in this world. Still, this news has come as a shock and a troubling thing. It is good to be troubled, for the pot to be stirred, so I have decided to let this troubling news act on me as it is supposed to. I will embrace it and learn its lessons. May this man, who will remain unnamed in this journal, rest in peace, and may his memory be eternal!
Deo Gratias!
I usually come to this journal when I'm feeling pensive, and tonight is no exception. I just heard of the death of a man whom I only vaguely knew. He appears to have died in his sleep of what may be a heart attack. He was in his forties. I saw him in January and he seemed in good spirits, but he didn't know the end was coming. He had no way of knowing it. Indeed, very few of us do know when our lives will end, none of us very precisely at any rate. It always gets me when I hear of deaths like this, deaths not due to accident or anything but which happen while a person is asleep or in some instantaneous way which is completely unforeseen by the person or unpreventable.
As a Christian, I'm supposed to sort of take these things in stride. I'm supposed to remember that death comes to us all and that we know not when our souls will be required of us, to speak biblically about it, but it still gets me. It still shakes me up. It still makes me feel like I've wasted my life or am wasting it, that I take time for granted and not as a gift to be treasured and used productively. This man has left children behind, older children yes, but they are barely out of their teens. What could be the reason for that? I know what the reason is according to the theology to which I subscribe. We live in a fallen world, a world filled with death, that is with decay. Things in this world are transitory, including our mortal lives. Did God take him as some sort of mercy? I'll never know of course until my own life ends in this world. Still, this news has come as a shock and a troubling thing. It is good to be troubled, for the pot to be stirred, so I have decided to let this troubling news act on me as it is supposed to. I will embrace it and learn its lessons. May this man, who will remain unnamed in this journal, rest in peace, and may his memory be eternal!
Deo Gratias!
Friday, March 29, 2013
The Gospel According to... Webber?
Benedicamus Domino!
Today being Good Friday for many Christians, I thought I'd write about something which was and strangely still is for me one of the many fascinating stops along my own road to Emaus and a true meeting with Christ. This is the musical or "rock opera" called Jesus Christ Superstar, written by Andrew Lloyd Webber. This was long before The Phantom of the Opera and certainly long before his current hit: The Wizard of Oz. I received it as a gift during a time when I was enamoured with Webber's more modern musicals, and when I get so intrigued, I always feel it necessary to learn more than just what is current with a given artist, author or composer, and besides, I had occasionally heard the title song on the radio and rather liked it, so I asked for the recording of the musical as a gift.
What I got was the sound track of the 1973 film version, and while it left something to be desired in terms of truly wonderful singing and such, there was something fierce in it, something real. A lot of movie versions of musicals come off rather wooden and flat when compared to the theatrical production, but this one, at least for me, had something that I've not found in even the best recordings of the actual Broadway musical. I guess it brought the events leading up to the crucifiction to life in such an interesting way that it made me really think about what Good Friday means, and for a girl of fourteen, that was a revelation.
Now, twenty years later, I of course don't believe in how Christ is portrayed at many points in the musical, but it still holds a strange fascination for me and I was glad to find the original, unremastered movie sound track, scratchy audio and all, just recently for my computer music collection. I've been getting rid of cassettes as I don't use them anymore, but that one having vanished was a bit of a sadness to me. It just goes to show you that God can use anything to help to bring a person closer to Him. Heck! I bet there have even been some people who became Christian due to Monty Python's Life of Brian! "Always look on the bright side of life!" These kinds of things have often been called irreverent by Christians, and perhaps they are in some ways, but I really believe that even seeming irreverence can actually be a kind of honour and worship, or by its very nature as a kind of foil to the truth, can actually point out the truth to a listening soul and an open heart.
For instance, I attended a church some weeks ago where worship songs were the order of the day. There have been people who have called them irreverent. Yes, songs based on scripture, simply because they have a rock-'n'-roll beat, have been called irreverent! Now, while I don't think they have a place in the kind of church services I attend, I don't think them irreverent! They simply are what they are, and I'm sure their composers wrote them with care and attention. They may not be my particular cup of tea, but does that mean I should simply damn them? God forbid! For me, Jesus Christ Superstar was a way to God. Who knows what will lead others to Him?
And on that note, I wish a blessed Good Friday to all who celebrate it at this time, and a truly joyful celebration of Christ's Resurrection on Sunday!
Deo Gratias!
Today being Good Friday for many Christians, I thought I'd write about something which was and strangely still is for me one of the many fascinating stops along my own road to Emaus and a true meeting with Christ. This is the musical or "rock opera" called Jesus Christ Superstar, written by Andrew Lloyd Webber. This was long before The Phantom of the Opera and certainly long before his current hit: The Wizard of Oz. I received it as a gift during a time when I was enamoured with Webber's more modern musicals, and when I get so intrigued, I always feel it necessary to learn more than just what is current with a given artist, author or composer, and besides, I had occasionally heard the title song on the radio and rather liked it, so I asked for the recording of the musical as a gift.
What I got was the sound track of the 1973 film version, and while it left something to be desired in terms of truly wonderful singing and such, there was something fierce in it, something real. A lot of movie versions of musicals come off rather wooden and flat when compared to the theatrical production, but this one, at least for me, had something that I've not found in even the best recordings of the actual Broadway musical. I guess it brought the events leading up to the crucifiction to life in such an interesting way that it made me really think about what Good Friday means, and for a girl of fourteen, that was a revelation.
Now, twenty years later, I of course don't believe in how Christ is portrayed at many points in the musical, but it still holds a strange fascination for me and I was glad to find the original, unremastered movie sound track, scratchy audio and all, just recently for my computer music collection. I've been getting rid of cassettes as I don't use them anymore, but that one having vanished was a bit of a sadness to me. It just goes to show you that God can use anything to help to bring a person closer to Him. Heck! I bet there have even been some people who became Christian due to Monty Python's Life of Brian! "Always look on the bright side of life!" These kinds of things have often been called irreverent by Christians, and perhaps they are in some ways, but I really believe that even seeming irreverence can actually be a kind of honour and worship, or by its very nature as a kind of foil to the truth, can actually point out the truth to a listening soul and an open heart.
For instance, I attended a church some weeks ago where worship songs were the order of the day. There have been people who have called them irreverent. Yes, songs based on scripture, simply because they have a rock-'n'-roll beat, have been called irreverent! Now, while I don't think they have a place in the kind of church services I attend, I don't think them irreverent! They simply are what they are, and I'm sure their composers wrote them with care and attention. They may not be my particular cup of tea, but does that mean I should simply damn them? God forbid! For me, Jesus Christ Superstar was a way to God. Who knows what will lead others to Him?
And on that note, I wish a blessed Good Friday to all who celebrate it at this time, and a truly joyful celebration of Christ's Resurrection on Sunday!
Deo Gratias!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Of Churches and Life Changes
Benedicamus Domino!
Well, for Orthodox Christians everywhere, the season of Lent has begun. For me, it began rather differently than it has these past few years. For starters, I missed performing the rite of forgiveness that our church performs on the Sunday immediately preceding the beginning of Lent. It's a beautiful rite where you ask each other's forgiveness for any wrongs you may have committed in the year past. You don't list the wrongs, but you do ask for forgiveness. I recall when I first heard about this rite, it didn't make a lot of sense to me. Why should I ask forgiveness of someone I hardly ever see and whom I've likely never wronged? Still, when one goes through the rite with its accompanying prostrations (kneeling with one's forehead touching the ground" and mutual asking and granting forgiveness, it makes you know beyond a doubt that this kind of humility, this kind of consciousness of wronging other people and needing their forgiveness, is a necessary part of the Christian life. There's a saying from one of the saints, John Chrysostom I think, which says: "During lent, we do not tear meat with our teeth, so neither should we tear each other with anger." (I'm paraphrasing.) The point is that to fast and to pray and to do everything we need to do in Lent is meaningless if we allow our passions or our egos to get the better of us. Of course, as things go, Lent does tend to bring those things into sharper focus. Since we're consciously fighting or trying to fight against them, they seem to intensify. However, this is where the guarding of the heart and of the senses comes in: a very deliberate attempt to check angry or covetous or prideful thoughts at the door as it were, and not to allow them to infect us and to inflame our egos. So, as we abstain from certain foods and perhaps even certain pleasures, (though this should be done carefully and with balance,) we also try to abstain from needless anger and violence toward each other. We channel all that energy into prayer, almsgiving, reflection, meditation on the Scriptures, and other spiritual things. This is a time of intensified spiritual activity which should flow over into all aspects of life, and asking the forgiveness of those whom you have wronged or may have wronged unconsciously during the past year is a nice way to start this six-week journey.
So, to continue then, this past Sunday was Forgiveness Sunday and I, for the first time, was not in attendance at my regular church. Instead, I attended a Christian Reformed church with my beloved. It was actually an interesting experience, the more because you could tell that this church was actually trying to cast off some of its Reformed traditions and to become something more non-denominational-protestant in its feel. They sang worship songs rather than hymns from a hymn-book. Though there was a nod to that tradition. They did sing "Great is Thy Faithfulness." They had a band and really good singers, and people sort of danced and clapped and such and really got into the music. There was definite joy in what they were doing, so why was it that I didn't feel it? Why was it that I was actually a little saddened by it?
Well, a part of the reason had to do with my conception of a fine old Protestant church experience. There ought to be an organ in my conception of this, and slightly uncomfortable pews, and a wood or marble floor, and well, those grand old hymns! I mean, that's my conception of what it was like to go to a Protestant church when I was younger. Then there was another curious thing. The pastor who preached a very good sermon actually basically came up against a bit of the Gospels which seemed to outright deny what he as a Reformed Christian had always been taught and he admitted this. He actually admitted that the old way of believing that faith alone justified us before God might not be the whole story. This was both refreshing and somehow unnerving to me. I mean, it was great that he could admit of his doubts, but it was also rather odd that a pastor steeped in the traditions of his faith should have those doubts. Of course, it's likely that he's had those doubts for some time. This, as I understand it, is definitely not one of the more traditionally-minded Reformed churches. However, when all was done, I was left with a strange kind of emptiness.
I mean, the people were friendly, the music was enjoyable, the sermon was interesting and thought-provoking, so what was missing? What was always missing for me in these kinds of church experiences? Well, all I can put it down to is this: I didn't feel different when I entered this church. I didn't feel as though this place was a place of prayer in quite the same way as a more traditional-feeling church (the pews and the organ and the choir and such) would make me feel. And yet, that's not even it! This church had comfortable chairs and carpet on the floors and such and had the feel to me of just some big hall or community room or something, but that can't be all there was to the not-feeling-different. We used to have our church in a renovated office suite above a dentist's office. It was small, cramped, had one bench (not a pew) to sit on, but still, I always felt different the moment I entered it. Part of that feeling of difference might have been the smell of the incense or something, but I don't know. I still say that something was missing for me in Sunday's church experience that I've never found so fully present as in an Orthodox church.
And you know, that isn't even dependent on language. I've been to churches where no English was spoken during the service and it still felt--well--different. I think the reason, apart from the more intangible reasons which may exist, is this. We clearly define sacred space and sacred time. I mean, all life should be treated as consecrated to God, but when you enter an Orthodox church or a church where some sense of tradition abounds, there is a feeling of--well--concentrated sacredness I guess. We're all trying to accomplish the exact same thing. We're seeking peace and everything in an Orthodox church is supposed to promote peace of heart and nourishment of the soul. Still, is the sort of joy that is inherent in those worship songs wrong? Is it false or impious or something? I can't really say an unqualified "yes" to these questions. To those who sing those songs and who pray in that less subdued manner, it is pious. It is expressing their love for God the best way they know how and the best way they can. Still, it rubbed me the wrong way. Something about how they prayed seemed so--well--overdone. To them it may not have been an act, but to me, it just sounded so--well--it sounded like they were trying to seem devoted to God. But do I have a right to judge this? No. All I can do is say how it affected me. The truth is that I felt all at sea with no clearly-defined liturgy. I felt as though this was just some big God-party and that true worship wasn't really going on. I mean, the words were there, but the bottom line seemed to be thankfulness for having been saved rather than a frank acknowledgement that we are always in need of God's mercy and abounding love. That either makes me a snob or really expresses something real that I was missing in this particular church. "And the church said: Amen" was done a lot, and that seems so out of keeping with what I remember as typical Canadian Protestant usage that it just jarred me. It was a tiny thing, but it jarred me. Still, it's good to be jarred out of one's complacency. It's good to see what's going on in the rest of the Christian world. Is it particularly nourishing for me? No. Will I continue to attend this church at times? Sure. I owe it to my beloved to do that. Still, it was as though I drank spiritual sugar-water on Sunday rather than the nicely-aged whine I usually get.
Again, I'm not mocking the beliefs of the people who attend this church. I can't do that since I don't know their hearts, but for me, liturgy is intimately connected with receiving Communion, and all of liturgy is a preparation of the gifts to then be shared. The ritual and the structure is accomplishing something, is going toward something, and by extention shows us what we should be going toward as well in our whole lives. Church is the one place where we can truly lay aside all earthly cares for a time and meditate on God's mercy and love. It may look stayed and subdued when compared to the kind of worship I saw on Sunday, but I tell you that joy abounds! Gratefulness oozes! The liturgy is a kind of catharsis and always changes the person who experiences it.
Having said all this, I will attend that church again. I have to do so. It's important for partners who have differing faiths to experience each other's ways of worship and of life. It only makes sense, especially now that I know beyond a doubt that this is for real, this is long-term. And this is another reason these past few days have been strange for me. I came to this decision rather suddenly but in a way which I know was blessed of God. We talked and spent time sort of drinking each other in and such, and well, everything we said and did was mutually-respectful, mutually-honouring of each other and our journeys, and well, it was just beautiful. I haven't felt this way about someone--this committed way--since Dan, my fiance who passed away over ten years ago now. A part of me thought I'd never feel this way again, but God stepped in and proved me wrong. There's a definite "smell" of God surrounding our getting together and our subsequent learning about and with each other. Will everything be perfect? No. Will life be roses and sunshine? No, but I know that I want this man for my partner, for my yoke-fellow, to use Paul's rather unflattering term. :) I think together we will be able to work out our salvation in fear and trembling, and have a lot of joy doing it as well.
Even though we've only been together for about three months, I know there's no other man for me. He's willing to dip his toes into Orthodoxy, which I know will be rather alien and odd to him. It is to all of us converts in some way or another. I just hope that as he experiences it, he understands that for me to leave it behind would be like cutting off my own head or something. It permeates one's whole way of thinking and living, or it should do. It's not a simple adherence to a set of creeds, though it may seem so at first. It did in fact seem so to me at first, but what I've learned is that it goes beyond that. The creeds mark out the path for us and let us know if we might be straying away, but the path itself forces us to grow, forces us to challenge our egos for supremacy over our hearts and minds. It quite simply forces our slumbering souls to arise and awaken, to watch and be heedful lest the Bridegroom come and we are unprepared. Is it easy? No. Do I sometimes wish I were anything but an Orthodox Christian? Yes, but that's my ego talking. That's my weakness crying out for what it wants most: it's own way. Hospitals are not always pleasant places, and our church is looked upon as a spiritual hospital. We go there for healing, and all the sacraments and rituals are designed to accomplish that healing in us. Of course we praise God and must be thankful to Him, but we must always be being saved, I guess. It's a process. Christ's death and resurrection were the beginning of that process and have done the lion's share of the work of accomplishing that process, but without our own individual wills at our own individual times in history, salvation isn't just given. A gift can't be given unless it is accepted, and we must accept that gift again and again, though so often we tend to hide it or cover it up or forget that it's there.
I think this is true of a lot of things in life as well. Taking love for granted is not a good idea. I mean, while God's love is unconditional, we can put ourselves (I feel) in a place where He can't reach us. If we really tell Him to go away and sincerely mean it, out of His own true love, He will do that. He will leave us to ourselves, but only because He gave us free will and yet also said that the choices of that free will must have consequences. Seeing all life as a gift is something I still aspire to. I know it's possible. I know people who can consciously do that and these are holy people. My ego is still in the way of that process for me. However, it is hoped that Lent will be a good time for me to learn yet more of the lessons of humility, mercy and love which Christ would have us learn. Glory to God for all things!
Deo Gratias!
Well, for Orthodox Christians everywhere, the season of Lent has begun. For me, it began rather differently than it has these past few years. For starters, I missed performing the rite of forgiveness that our church performs on the Sunday immediately preceding the beginning of Lent. It's a beautiful rite where you ask each other's forgiveness for any wrongs you may have committed in the year past. You don't list the wrongs, but you do ask for forgiveness. I recall when I first heard about this rite, it didn't make a lot of sense to me. Why should I ask forgiveness of someone I hardly ever see and whom I've likely never wronged? Still, when one goes through the rite with its accompanying prostrations (kneeling with one's forehead touching the ground" and mutual asking and granting forgiveness, it makes you know beyond a doubt that this kind of humility, this kind of consciousness of wronging other people and needing their forgiveness, is a necessary part of the Christian life. There's a saying from one of the saints, John Chrysostom I think, which says: "During lent, we do not tear meat with our teeth, so neither should we tear each other with anger." (I'm paraphrasing.) The point is that to fast and to pray and to do everything we need to do in Lent is meaningless if we allow our passions or our egos to get the better of us. Of course, as things go, Lent does tend to bring those things into sharper focus. Since we're consciously fighting or trying to fight against them, they seem to intensify. However, this is where the guarding of the heart and of the senses comes in: a very deliberate attempt to check angry or covetous or prideful thoughts at the door as it were, and not to allow them to infect us and to inflame our egos. So, as we abstain from certain foods and perhaps even certain pleasures, (though this should be done carefully and with balance,) we also try to abstain from needless anger and violence toward each other. We channel all that energy into prayer, almsgiving, reflection, meditation on the Scriptures, and other spiritual things. This is a time of intensified spiritual activity which should flow over into all aspects of life, and asking the forgiveness of those whom you have wronged or may have wronged unconsciously during the past year is a nice way to start this six-week journey.
So, to continue then, this past Sunday was Forgiveness Sunday and I, for the first time, was not in attendance at my regular church. Instead, I attended a Christian Reformed church with my beloved. It was actually an interesting experience, the more because you could tell that this church was actually trying to cast off some of its Reformed traditions and to become something more non-denominational-protestant in its feel. They sang worship songs rather than hymns from a hymn-book. Though there was a nod to that tradition. They did sing "Great is Thy Faithfulness." They had a band and really good singers, and people sort of danced and clapped and such and really got into the music. There was definite joy in what they were doing, so why was it that I didn't feel it? Why was it that I was actually a little saddened by it?
Well, a part of the reason had to do with my conception of a fine old Protestant church experience. There ought to be an organ in my conception of this, and slightly uncomfortable pews, and a wood or marble floor, and well, those grand old hymns! I mean, that's my conception of what it was like to go to a Protestant church when I was younger. Then there was another curious thing. The pastor who preached a very good sermon actually basically came up against a bit of the Gospels which seemed to outright deny what he as a Reformed Christian had always been taught and he admitted this. He actually admitted that the old way of believing that faith alone justified us before God might not be the whole story. This was both refreshing and somehow unnerving to me. I mean, it was great that he could admit of his doubts, but it was also rather odd that a pastor steeped in the traditions of his faith should have those doubts. Of course, it's likely that he's had those doubts for some time. This, as I understand it, is definitely not one of the more traditionally-minded Reformed churches. However, when all was done, I was left with a strange kind of emptiness.
I mean, the people were friendly, the music was enjoyable, the sermon was interesting and thought-provoking, so what was missing? What was always missing for me in these kinds of church experiences? Well, all I can put it down to is this: I didn't feel different when I entered this church. I didn't feel as though this place was a place of prayer in quite the same way as a more traditional-feeling church (the pews and the organ and the choir and such) would make me feel. And yet, that's not even it! This church had comfortable chairs and carpet on the floors and such and had the feel to me of just some big hall or community room or something, but that can't be all there was to the not-feeling-different. We used to have our church in a renovated office suite above a dentist's office. It was small, cramped, had one bench (not a pew) to sit on, but still, I always felt different the moment I entered it. Part of that feeling of difference might have been the smell of the incense or something, but I don't know. I still say that something was missing for me in Sunday's church experience that I've never found so fully present as in an Orthodox church.
And you know, that isn't even dependent on language. I've been to churches where no English was spoken during the service and it still felt--well--different. I think the reason, apart from the more intangible reasons which may exist, is this. We clearly define sacred space and sacred time. I mean, all life should be treated as consecrated to God, but when you enter an Orthodox church or a church where some sense of tradition abounds, there is a feeling of--well--concentrated sacredness I guess. We're all trying to accomplish the exact same thing. We're seeking peace and everything in an Orthodox church is supposed to promote peace of heart and nourishment of the soul. Still, is the sort of joy that is inherent in those worship songs wrong? Is it false or impious or something? I can't really say an unqualified "yes" to these questions. To those who sing those songs and who pray in that less subdued manner, it is pious. It is expressing their love for God the best way they know how and the best way they can. Still, it rubbed me the wrong way. Something about how they prayed seemed so--well--overdone. To them it may not have been an act, but to me, it just sounded so--well--it sounded like they were trying to seem devoted to God. But do I have a right to judge this? No. All I can do is say how it affected me. The truth is that I felt all at sea with no clearly-defined liturgy. I felt as though this was just some big God-party and that true worship wasn't really going on. I mean, the words were there, but the bottom line seemed to be thankfulness for having been saved rather than a frank acknowledgement that we are always in need of God's mercy and abounding love. That either makes me a snob or really expresses something real that I was missing in this particular church. "And the church said: Amen" was done a lot, and that seems so out of keeping with what I remember as typical Canadian Protestant usage that it just jarred me. It was a tiny thing, but it jarred me. Still, it's good to be jarred out of one's complacency. It's good to see what's going on in the rest of the Christian world. Is it particularly nourishing for me? No. Will I continue to attend this church at times? Sure. I owe it to my beloved to do that. Still, it was as though I drank spiritual sugar-water on Sunday rather than the nicely-aged whine I usually get.
Again, I'm not mocking the beliefs of the people who attend this church. I can't do that since I don't know their hearts, but for me, liturgy is intimately connected with receiving Communion, and all of liturgy is a preparation of the gifts to then be shared. The ritual and the structure is accomplishing something, is going toward something, and by extention shows us what we should be going toward as well in our whole lives. Church is the one place where we can truly lay aside all earthly cares for a time and meditate on God's mercy and love. It may look stayed and subdued when compared to the kind of worship I saw on Sunday, but I tell you that joy abounds! Gratefulness oozes! The liturgy is a kind of catharsis and always changes the person who experiences it.
Having said all this, I will attend that church again. I have to do so. It's important for partners who have differing faiths to experience each other's ways of worship and of life. It only makes sense, especially now that I know beyond a doubt that this is for real, this is long-term. And this is another reason these past few days have been strange for me. I came to this decision rather suddenly but in a way which I know was blessed of God. We talked and spent time sort of drinking each other in and such, and well, everything we said and did was mutually-respectful, mutually-honouring of each other and our journeys, and well, it was just beautiful. I haven't felt this way about someone--this committed way--since Dan, my fiance who passed away over ten years ago now. A part of me thought I'd never feel this way again, but God stepped in and proved me wrong. There's a definite "smell" of God surrounding our getting together and our subsequent learning about and with each other. Will everything be perfect? No. Will life be roses and sunshine? No, but I know that I want this man for my partner, for my yoke-fellow, to use Paul's rather unflattering term. :) I think together we will be able to work out our salvation in fear and trembling, and have a lot of joy doing it as well.
Even though we've only been together for about three months, I know there's no other man for me. He's willing to dip his toes into Orthodoxy, which I know will be rather alien and odd to him. It is to all of us converts in some way or another. I just hope that as he experiences it, he understands that for me to leave it behind would be like cutting off my own head or something. It permeates one's whole way of thinking and living, or it should do. It's not a simple adherence to a set of creeds, though it may seem so at first. It did in fact seem so to me at first, but what I've learned is that it goes beyond that. The creeds mark out the path for us and let us know if we might be straying away, but the path itself forces us to grow, forces us to challenge our egos for supremacy over our hearts and minds. It quite simply forces our slumbering souls to arise and awaken, to watch and be heedful lest the Bridegroom come and we are unprepared. Is it easy? No. Do I sometimes wish I were anything but an Orthodox Christian? Yes, but that's my ego talking. That's my weakness crying out for what it wants most: it's own way. Hospitals are not always pleasant places, and our church is looked upon as a spiritual hospital. We go there for healing, and all the sacraments and rituals are designed to accomplish that healing in us. Of course we praise God and must be thankful to Him, but we must always be being saved, I guess. It's a process. Christ's death and resurrection were the beginning of that process and have done the lion's share of the work of accomplishing that process, but without our own individual wills at our own individual times in history, salvation isn't just given. A gift can't be given unless it is accepted, and we must accept that gift again and again, though so often we tend to hide it or cover it up or forget that it's there.
I think this is true of a lot of things in life as well. Taking love for granted is not a good idea. I mean, while God's love is unconditional, we can put ourselves (I feel) in a place where He can't reach us. If we really tell Him to go away and sincerely mean it, out of His own true love, He will do that. He will leave us to ourselves, but only because He gave us free will and yet also said that the choices of that free will must have consequences. Seeing all life as a gift is something I still aspire to. I know it's possible. I know people who can consciously do that and these are holy people. My ego is still in the way of that process for me. However, it is hoped that Lent will be a good time for me to learn yet more of the lessons of humility, mercy and love which Christ would have us learn. Glory to God for all things!
Deo Gratias!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
The Changing of the Years
Benedicamus Domino!
It was seven years ago today that I stood in church and professed myself willing to unite myself to Christ. Seven years ago, I was made a catechumen of the Orthodox Church. Today, under the auspices of St. Zoe and St. Martinian the Anchorite, the Christian journey was made real for me in a way it had never been before. This was my first formal declaration in front of other people that I wanted to be a Christian. Before this, I had certainly called myself a Christian, but I had made no formal vows or declarations of the same. Even when I thought with all my heart that I wanted to become a Roman Catholic, when push finally came to shove and I could have converted, I never put the plan into action. I was content, or so I thought, to remain in my little bubble of Sara-brand Christianity. Heck! I didn't even go to church once I left high school! There was no grounding in reality, no support from others on a regular basis, no parish to call my own, nothing. Was it any wonder that in the end I found myself wandering in a sea of confusion and setting Christ aside?
I believe that any faith needs this kind of conscious intentional step, this kind of actual putting of a toe upon its path. Indeed, any event in life needs this kind of celebration, this kind of firm acknowledgement that it is real! I think we as a society have largely lost this tendency toward rites of passage and such.
As for my becoming a catechumen, I remember that I had been very ill about two weeks before and was still suffering from a nasty cough. It took all my efforts to pronounce the vows and such that I was asked to make. Still, when all was done, I knew I had done what must be done. I knew that this step was the formal step I had always denied myself, and I knew without a doubt that Baptism would surely follow as night follows day. I knew, without even knowing the ins and outs of the faith I was joining, that it was the truth. I knew it on a level which cannot be put into words. I knew it as surely as one knows the person whom one is destined to marry. It was beautiful!
I took a name then, a name which I thought I would be Baptized with but which, in the end, I decided not to take in Baptism. Still, I think of it as one of my names and I still celebrate that saint as one of my patrons. She is St. Melangell of Wales, and I believe that it was by her prayers that I found Christ again, for her story and her example often came to me out of the blue when I was feeling spiritually dry and watered my heart with gentle rain, so that when I finally decided to follow Christ, I felt it only right and necessary to take her name as my banner and her as an elder. The mere fact that she and I were on different levels of existence was not a barrier for me. Recently, I celebrated one of her feast-days by singing an Akathist (a service of prayers and hymns) to her which a friend who became my Baptismal Sponsor gave to me on the day I was made a catechumen. I read it on the bus traveling to church and it, as much as anything, proved to me that I was on the right track. Its every line seemed redolent of Heaven and also of earth. It pointed to what was for me a new understanding of what Christianity was, and it did so with simple beauty and the sort of imagery which could not help but sing to my very soul. I don't use that Akathist very often anymore, and I think this should be rectified. However, I think I'd like to reproduce it here. It's very beautiful and Melangell is just a really wonderful woman to have as a spiritual ancestor and a patron saint. So, here's the Akathist. (Oh, and the word "Akathist" in Greek means the "not-sitting-down-service." I rather like that it's named after how one conducts oneself rather than after the poetic forms used.)
AKATHIST TO OUR VENERABLE MOTHER MELANGELL
Kontakion 1
To thee our patient intercessor and watchful guardian,
We thy lambs who flee for refuge beneath thy protecting mantle,
Offer thee our hymns of thanksgiving and devotion,
For as thy divinely-bestowed authority doth ever disperse evil,
Do thou foil the darts of our pursuing enemy,
And teach us by thy meekness that we may cry to thee:
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Ekos 1
A thousand angels sing thy praises O Melangell, for having beheld thy solitary struggle for love of God, thy striving after the virtues and thy victory over Satan; they welcomed thee into the habitations of the righteous, chanting to thee such things as these:
Rejoice, dove of the wilderness!
Rejoice, sparrow cherished in the hand of the Heavenly Father!
Rejoice, lily arrayed in unfading glory!
Rejoice, rose of ineffable sweetness!
Rejoice, beloved dwelling of the Lord of Hosts!
Rejoice, thou who eternally abidest in His courts!
Rejoice, tree planted by streams of living water!
Rejoice, tender olive branch of hope!
Rejoice, meek lamb, hearkening only to the Shepherd's voice!
Rejoice, thou shepherdess, ever tending His flock!
Rejoice, thou who art sheltered by the wings of the Most High!
Rejoice, thou who liftest our eyes to whence cometh our help!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 2
Knowing thee to be a gift at thy birth, O thou in whom the Pearl of Great Price hath found a home, thy kindred rejoiced, seeing in thee the forbear of comely generations, and they sang: Alleluia!
Ekos 2
Wishing to procure for thee a life worthy of thy lineage and beauty, thy pious mother Eithni sought to espouse thee to a great and generous chieftain of thy people. But the ways of the Heavenly Bridegroom are higher than our ways, and we can but render thanks to His Providence:
Rejoice, fair adornment of thy people!
Rejoice, treasure of thy godly mother!
Rejoice, eternal heirloom of Ireland!
Rejoice, emerald beyond all price!
Rejoice, pearl in the divine diadem!
Rejoice, golden chalice finely-wrought!
Rejoice, dowry bequeathed to the Church universal!
Rejoice, precious stone enduring through the ages!
Rejoice, luminous brooch, adorn our hearts with repentance!
Rejoice, divine crown, raise our minds on high!
Rejoice, our inheritance, may we store up incorruptible treasure!
Rejoice, that we may seek first the Kingdom of God!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 3
Compelled by love for the Most High, stronger than all earthly attachments, O thou who didst daily pay thy vows, thou forsookest the bosom of thy family, beginning thy journey to the sweet spiritual meadows, praying: Alleluia!
Ekos 3
Crossing the water and arriving upon shores fertile as the Egyptian deserts in faith, the saint hastened to Pennant, her divinely-appointed arena, and the fields were joyful, and all the trees of the wood rejoiced hearing her song:
Rejoice, O my soul, in the all-providing mercy of God!
Rejoice, for here I shall seek salvation!
Rejoice, for this is the place of mine eternal rest!
Rejoice, for this is the place of my resurrection!
Rejoice, for these trees which shield me from worldly eyes!
Rejoice, for now I must seek the hidden life of prayer!
Rejoice, for the night is far-spent and day is at hand!
Rejoice, O my soul, and awake that thou be not found heedless!
Rejoice, good instructress of monastics!
Rejoice, that we may desire thy godly fervour!
Rejoice, thou whose prayers have hallowed the air!
Rejoice, thou whose tears have purified the earth!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 4
Who can describe the storm of temptations which assailed thee during thy fifteen years in the desolate, lonely wilderness, O thou set as a hart upon thy high places? For in thy humility thou didst ever strive to hide thy virtue. But now thou art glorified by Him whom thou glorifiedst in thy life, crying: Alleluia!
Ekos 4
Kneeling upon a rock, thou builtest thy spiritual house upon the Rock that is Christ and a fulfilment of His Commandments, mortifying thy flesh and routing the hordes of the demons; and even we, whose ascetic efforts are as the wings of a fly take courage from thy victory, hymning thee thus:
Rejoice, O Melangell, pillar in the eternal temple!
Rejoice, shining foundation of the new Jerusalem!
Rejoice, marble tablet inscribed with the Lord's new name!
Rejoice, adamant of noetic vigilance!
Rejoice, bastion of obedience to the divine behest!
Rejoice, tower of strength against the dark forces of hell!
Rejoice, rampart against despondency!
Rejoice, unconquerable fortress of purity!
Rejoice, living stone, may we attain such unwavering resolve!
Rejoice, thou altar, consecrate our souls to holiness!
Rejoice, white stone of victory, strengthen our hearts to resist temptation!
Rejoice, thou who leadest me to the rock that is higher than I!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 5
Though hidden from human eyes, creation beheld thee as a star O holy one; wild beasts became docile in thy presence and timid creatures grew fearless. Raising its eloquent hymn of praise, thy valley sang its new song unto the Lord: Alleluia!
Ekos 5
"And the wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid, and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them." We who reap the bitter fruit of Adam's disobedience in Paradise see in thee O Melangell hope for our own restoration to life, singing to thee thus:
Rejoice, faithful fulfiller of the Commandments of Christ!
Rejoice, icon of trusting obedience!
Rejoice, thou in whose garden the Lord walked with joy!
Rejoice, thou who heldest sweet converse with Him even at the sixth hour!
Rejoice, willing bearer of His easy burden and light yoke!
Rejoice, thou who now partakest of the Tree of Life!
Rejoice, for thou madest of thy valley a paradise!
Rejoice, for through thee it is now a step away from Heaven!
Rejoice, thou who paintest anew for us the colours of creation!
Rejoice, thou who teachest all to honour its grandeur!
Rejoice, bridge spanning the chasm of our sins!
Rejoice, thou who dost guide us across it in safety!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 6
After long years alone, battling against the powers of the air, O thou who castest lightning from Heaven, thy gentle hands upraised in prayer proved mightier than the foray of an earthly prince, who, seeing manifest the harmony in thy valley, was wroth, paralysed and unable to cry: Alleluia!
Ekos 6
Touched at last by divine grace which is able to reach down into our deepest darkness, his heart was converted; and, from the depths of his soul he was moved, O Melangell, to sing thy praises:
Rejoice, revealer of the unrepentant!
Rejoice, terror of the demons!
Rejoice, wakener of souls in the sleep of sin!
Rejoice, thou whose godly love pierceth hearts of stone!
Rejoice, dew that quenchest the flame of the passions!
Rejoice, blinding flash of purity!
Rejoice, gentle light of the holy glory of Christ!
Rejoice, unexpected joy of contrition!
Rejoice, soft radiance of the Light that knoweth no evening!
Rejoice, divine splendour, renew my darkened life!
Rejoice, lamp brimming with the oil of the virtues!
Rejoice, thou who art a beacon, deign to lead even me to salvation!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 7
Desiring to reveal a ray of true light amid this age of mirage and delusion, the Shepherd of our souls led likeminded maidens to thee, for they saw in thee a teacher of the one thing needful, and devoutly placing their lives under thy protecting mantle, they sang: Alleluia!
Ekos 7
Though rejoicing because of the amnesty granted thee, and loving thy solitude, thou didst not oppose this new visitation from the right hand of the Most High, receiving all who came to thee, and lowering thine eyes in deepest humility, thou didst move them and us to pray:
Rejoice, restorer of wayward hearts!
Rejoice, guide of blinded souls!
Rejoice, thou who leadest our feet in the way of peace!
Rejoice, for we too seek the Dayspring on high!
Rejoice, thou whose eye was wholly single!
Rejoice, thou whose soul was full of light!
Rejoice, good instructress of the young!
Rejoice, kind support of those venerable in years!
Rejoice, thou whose care constraineth us to seek the heavenly Prize!
Rejoice, thou whose zeal stirreth us to run the race set before us!
Rejoice, uplifter of our feeble hands!
Rejoice, make firm my faltering steps!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 8
Desiring to immerse themselves in the sweet serenity of thy shrine, O thou who givest good gifts unto thy children, pilgrims began to flock to thy monastery's enclosure from near and far, fugitives found sanctuary, the oppressed a respite, and weary travellers found refreshment for body and soul, raising their grateful song: Alleluia!
Ekos 8
Grant us also, O Melangell, who are strangers and exiles in this world, a cup of cool, living water for the sake of Christ, from thy beloved hands which are ever extended to embrace thy flock, debtors because of our sins but who pray:
Rejoice, for thy hallowed place was a haven in troubled times!
Rejoice, for thine icon guards us wayfarers to this day!
Rejoice, thou who meetest us in our times of decision!
Rejoice, fellow traveller along our winding paths!
Rejoice, welcomed guest at the Master's table!
Rejoice, humble servant of all those bidden to His feast!
Rejoice, thou whose name is as the music of harps!
Rejoice, thou whose works are a hymn in praise of God!
Rejoice, thou whose intercession for us is a lighted doorway!
Rejoice, thou who teachest us the hospitality of mercy!
Rejoice, warm my cold heart at the hearth of repentance!
Rejoice, help me to set a watch before my mouth!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 9
Having flown across the Jordan of this life, O thou who hast thy pinions covered with silver, thou standest now on Canaan's side amid the angels and a great cloud of witnesses. While we, the last, tossed about in our scattered flight, raise our small voice in supplication: Alleluia!
Ekos 9
Princes and poets alike have honoured thee in art and song O venerable Melangell, but our words are as the lisping of children. Even so, constrained by our love for thee we sing:
Rejoice, thou who dost worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness!
Rejoice, thou whose voice adorneth the celestial choirs!
Rejoice, thou who hast reached the Promised Land!
Rejoice, thou who ever drawest our eyes thither!
Rejoice, thou who carolest the gentle breezes of our redemption!
Rejoice, thou who art a lark guiding us to the eternal springtime!
Rejoice, thou who by the grace of Christ stillest the waves of our tribulations!
Rejoice, thou who sweetenest the bitter waters of our sorrows!
Rejoice, thou whose fiery chariot was humility!
Rejoice, bestow upon me, too, a double portion of thy meekness!
Rejoice, thou who hast borne the heat of the vineyard's day!
Rejoice, strength of monastics at the eleventh hour!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 10
Desiring, come what may, to preserve thy wonderworking relics, shrine and gravestone, O Melangell, the faithful people of Pennant hid and guarded them when darkness threatened to devour the light of their remembrance, and through the sorrowful centuries their fervent prayer has risen, as quietly as the smoke of incense: Alleluia!
Ekos 10
Thou art ever a fortress for us O saint, for even during times of spiritual dearth, Christ's followers have resorted to thine aid with hope:
Rejoice, shepherdess who leadest us beside the still waters!
Rejoice, defence against soul-destroying wolves!
Rejoice, thou whose sweet song still echoeth in thy valley!
Rejoice, thou whose presence toucheth hearts unawares!
Rejoice, thou who meetest us at the crossroads of our lives!
Rejoice, gentle guardian through the dark night of our soul!
Rejoice, thou who leadest us amid the encircling gloom of doubt and unbelief!
Rejoice, thou who keepest our feet from straying onto the broad road!
Rejoice, our staff in climbing the steep and narrow way!
Rejoice, our guide, for we walk in darkness!
Rejoice, thou who pointest the way to eternal Life!
Rejoice, guide us in the way where light dwelleth!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 11
Though every tongue seemed stilled, yet rock and stone have been revealed as messengers, bearing glad tidings to hearts and eyes longing for a sight of thee, O thou who takest thy wings toward the dawn, for lo, in this our latter generation, thy shrine once more graceth the countryside of Powys; and pilgrims, numberless as the sand flock to it, with the joyful sound: Alleluia!
Ekos 11
As a candle upon a candlestand art thou O Melangell, after thy long vigil, until the Knower of all things manifested thy light in the midnight of this world; and filled with wonder we say:
Rejoice, thou who art a sign of renewal for Orthodoxy in Wales!
Rejoice, fulfilment of an ancient hope!
Rejoice, icon of meekness and authority!
Rejoice, shrine of strength and healing!
Rejoice, for in our joy, night is become radiant!
Rejoice, for through thee a new day is dawning!
Rejoice, dewdrop reflecting the Morning-star!
Rejoice, gentle rain bringing newness of life!
Rejoice, consolation for weary fishers of souls!
Rejoice, for through thee many stray lambs are carried home!
Rejoice, kind tutor of children!
Rejoice, thou who lovingly nurturest spiritual babes!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 12
Falling to our knees before thy holy relics, we give voice together with a sea of travellers who, over time, have sought thine aid; can it be that such a joy should be granted to us the unworthy ones! For all who bring to thy feet our world of burdens find solace beneath thy comforting mantle: Alleluia!
Ekos 12
Within thy church, the baying and clamour of the world is hushed and in that place of prayer, clarity is restored. Many come away healed of bodily illnesses and all find refreshment as we sing:
Rejoice, our unfailing intercessor!
Rejoice, thou who standest before the Lord with the children He hath given thee!
Rejoice, healer of our bodies!
Rejoice, gentle physician of our souls!
Rejoice, profound peace amid an age of tumult!
Rejoice, calm amid a life of chaos!
Rejoice, thou who desirest that our distracted hearts be attentive!
Rejoice, thou who desirest that we share in thy Sabbath rest!
Rejoice, pray for me that I may walk softly in the presence of holiness!
Rejoice, pray for me that I may speak with love to my close ones!
Rejoice, pray for me that I may see the beauty in all things!
Rejoice, pray for me that I may do only that which will bring joy to the angels!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 13
O most blessed mother Melangell, thou whose authority disperseth evil and whose meekness sheltereth thy lambs, entreat the Lord and Shepherd of our souls that in His mercy, He may vouchsafe us to run the good race set before us, to win the heavenly Prize, that ever rejoicing with thee in the eternal bridal-halls, we may unceasingly sing to our Bridegroom: Alleluia!
O most blessed mother Melangell, thou whose authority disperseth evil and whose meekness sheltereth thy lambs, entreat the Lord and Shepherd of our souls that in His mercy, He may vouchsafe us to run the good race set before us, to win the heavenly Prize, that ever rejoicing with thee in the eternal bridal-halls, we may unceasingly sing to our Bridegroom: Alleluia!
O most blessed mother Melangell, thou whose authority disperseth evil and whose meekness sheltereth thy lambs, entreat the Lord and Shepherd of our souls that in His mercy, He may vouchsafe us to run the good race set before us, to win the heavenly Prize, that ever rejoicing with thee in the eternal bridal-halls, we may unceasingly sing to our Bridegroom: Alleluia!
Ekos 1
A thousand angels sing thy praises O Melangell, for having beheld thy solitary struggle for love of God, thy striving after the virtues and thy victory over Satan; they welcomed thee into the habitations of the righteous, chanting to thee such things as these:
Rejoice, dove of the wilderness!
Rejoice, sparrow cherished in the hand of the Heavenly Father!
Rejoice, lily arrayed in unfading glory!
Rejoice, rose of ineffable sweetness!
Rejoice, beloved dwelling of the Lord of Hosts!
Rejoice, thou who eternally abidest in His courts!
Rejoice, tree planted by streams of living water!
Rejoice, tender olive branch of hope!
Rejoice, meek lamb, hearkening only to the Shepherd's voice!
Rejoice, thou shepherdess, ever tending His flock!
Rejoice, thou who art sheltered by the wings of the Most High!
Rejoice, thou who liftest our eyes to whence cometh our help!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 1
To thee our patient intercessor and watchful guardian,
We thy lambs who flee for refuge beneath thy protecting mantle,
Offer thee our hymns of thanksgiving and devotion,
For as thy divinely-bestowed authority doth ever disperse evil,
Do thou foil the darts of our pursuing enemy,
And teach us by thy meekness that we may cry to thee:
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
A Prayer to St. Melangell
O holy mother Melangell, who dwellest now in light unapproachable with a multitude of radiant, glorified ones, ever rejoicing to behold the beauty of the Lamb: we lift our voices and hearts to thee in supplication; for thou art one who hast trode this path of the Christian life before us in an age as pagan and tumultuous as our own. As thou chosest earthly exile from thine homeland, spurning thine imperial lineage, wealth, glory and a prestigious marriage, to become a citizen of Heaven and a bride of Him who eternally loveth mankind and sacrificed Himself for us, instill in us courage to count all things here below as nought, for the sake of those eternal blessings. And as thou didst abandon earthly honour and comfort, subjecting thy body to the harsh asceticism of solitary vigils, kneeling in prayer upon a stone slab for fifteen years without seeing another human face, do thou teach us to seek for that completeness which no longer seeketh the false consolations of this world. And as thou art known to be the protectress of small, helpless creatures, help us to nurture and protect our souls as little children, without whose presence we shall in no wise see the Kingdom of Heaven. Thou art revealed as a healer in our days; and we ask that in thy kindness, thou intercede for our loved ones who are suffering, whose names are remembered daily before thy venerable relics.
Thy wisdom was sought, not only by those desiring to embrace the monastic life under thy guidance, but by other anchorites abiding in stillness in the valleys round about. Ye did all drink abundantly from the Fountain of Immortality and now we beg you: pray that our hearts be cleansed through repentance, that they may worthily receive a few drops of that same life-bestowing spring, who together with His unoriginate Father and the All-holy, good and life-creating Spirit is worshipped and glorified now and ever and unto ages of ages, amen.
Troparion to St. Melangell Tone 8
Preferring the rigours of monasticism to worldly status and marriage, O pious Melangell,* thou wast fifteen years on a rock, emulating the example of the Syrian Stylites.* Wherefore, O Saint, pray to God that He will give us strength to serve Him as He wills,/ that we may be found worthy of great mercy.
So, there we have it. Seven years have come and gone. That seems somehow significant! I've seen a lot of changes come and go both in the church and in me, but that truth, that knowledge that is indescribable, that thing which is more than logic and beyond mere emotion has kept me here, has made me learn and grow and keep on going when a lot could have made me stop. I am fundamentally where I need to be. I would die a spiritual death if I were not here. Of this I'm certain. So, upon this day of joyful recollection and peaceful contemplation, I will simply say: Glory to God for all things!
Deo Gratias!
It was seven years ago today that I stood in church and professed myself willing to unite myself to Christ. Seven years ago, I was made a catechumen of the Orthodox Church. Today, under the auspices of St. Zoe and St. Martinian the Anchorite, the Christian journey was made real for me in a way it had never been before. This was my first formal declaration in front of other people that I wanted to be a Christian. Before this, I had certainly called myself a Christian, but I had made no formal vows or declarations of the same. Even when I thought with all my heart that I wanted to become a Roman Catholic, when push finally came to shove and I could have converted, I never put the plan into action. I was content, or so I thought, to remain in my little bubble of Sara-brand Christianity. Heck! I didn't even go to church once I left high school! There was no grounding in reality, no support from others on a regular basis, no parish to call my own, nothing. Was it any wonder that in the end I found myself wandering in a sea of confusion and setting Christ aside?
I believe that any faith needs this kind of conscious intentional step, this kind of actual putting of a toe upon its path. Indeed, any event in life needs this kind of celebration, this kind of firm acknowledgement that it is real! I think we as a society have largely lost this tendency toward rites of passage and such.
As for my becoming a catechumen, I remember that I had been very ill about two weeks before and was still suffering from a nasty cough. It took all my efforts to pronounce the vows and such that I was asked to make. Still, when all was done, I knew I had done what must be done. I knew that this step was the formal step I had always denied myself, and I knew without a doubt that Baptism would surely follow as night follows day. I knew, without even knowing the ins and outs of the faith I was joining, that it was the truth. I knew it on a level which cannot be put into words. I knew it as surely as one knows the person whom one is destined to marry. It was beautiful!
I took a name then, a name which I thought I would be Baptized with but which, in the end, I decided not to take in Baptism. Still, I think of it as one of my names and I still celebrate that saint as one of my patrons. She is St. Melangell of Wales, and I believe that it was by her prayers that I found Christ again, for her story and her example often came to me out of the blue when I was feeling spiritually dry and watered my heart with gentle rain, so that when I finally decided to follow Christ, I felt it only right and necessary to take her name as my banner and her as an elder. The mere fact that she and I were on different levels of existence was not a barrier for me. Recently, I celebrated one of her feast-days by singing an Akathist (a service of prayers and hymns) to her which a friend who became my Baptismal Sponsor gave to me on the day I was made a catechumen. I read it on the bus traveling to church and it, as much as anything, proved to me that I was on the right track. Its every line seemed redolent of Heaven and also of earth. It pointed to what was for me a new understanding of what Christianity was, and it did so with simple beauty and the sort of imagery which could not help but sing to my very soul. I don't use that Akathist very often anymore, and I think this should be rectified. However, I think I'd like to reproduce it here. It's very beautiful and Melangell is just a really wonderful woman to have as a spiritual ancestor and a patron saint. So, here's the Akathist. (Oh, and the word "Akathist" in Greek means the "not-sitting-down-service." I rather like that it's named after how one conducts oneself rather than after the poetic forms used.)
AKATHIST TO OUR VENERABLE MOTHER MELANGELL
Kontakion 1
To thee our patient intercessor and watchful guardian,
We thy lambs who flee for refuge beneath thy protecting mantle,
Offer thee our hymns of thanksgiving and devotion,
For as thy divinely-bestowed authority doth ever disperse evil,
Do thou foil the darts of our pursuing enemy,
And teach us by thy meekness that we may cry to thee:
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Ekos 1
A thousand angels sing thy praises O Melangell, for having beheld thy solitary struggle for love of God, thy striving after the virtues and thy victory over Satan; they welcomed thee into the habitations of the righteous, chanting to thee such things as these:
Rejoice, dove of the wilderness!
Rejoice, sparrow cherished in the hand of the Heavenly Father!
Rejoice, lily arrayed in unfading glory!
Rejoice, rose of ineffable sweetness!
Rejoice, beloved dwelling of the Lord of Hosts!
Rejoice, thou who eternally abidest in His courts!
Rejoice, tree planted by streams of living water!
Rejoice, tender olive branch of hope!
Rejoice, meek lamb, hearkening only to the Shepherd's voice!
Rejoice, thou shepherdess, ever tending His flock!
Rejoice, thou who art sheltered by the wings of the Most High!
Rejoice, thou who liftest our eyes to whence cometh our help!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 2
Knowing thee to be a gift at thy birth, O thou in whom the Pearl of Great Price hath found a home, thy kindred rejoiced, seeing in thee the forbear of comely generations, and they sang: Alleluia!
Ekos 2
Wishing to procure for thee a life worthy of thy lineage and beauty, thy pious mother Eithni sought to espouse thee to a great and generous chieftain of thy people. But the ways of the Heavenly Bridegroom are higher than our ways, and we can but render thanks to His Providence:
Rejoice, fair adornment of thy people!
Rejoice, treasure of thy godly mother!
Rejoice, eternal heirloom of Ireland!
Rejoice, emerald beyond all price!
Rejoice, pearl in the divine diadem!
Rejoice, golden chalice finely-wrought!
Rejoice, dowry bequeathed to the Church universal!
Rejoice, precious stone enduring through the ages!
Rejoice, luminous brooch, adorn our hearts with repentance!
Rejoice, divine crown, raise our minds on high!
Rejoice, our inheritance, may we store up incorruptible treasure!
Rejoice, that we may seek first the Kingdom of God!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 3
Compelled by love for the Most High, stronger than all earthly attachments, O thou who didst daily pay thy vows, thou forsookest the bosom of thy family, beginning thy journey to the sweet spiritual meadows, praying: Alleluia!
Ekos 3
Crossing the water and arriving upon shores fertile as the Egyptian deserts in faith, the saint hastened to Pennant, her divinely-appointed arena, and the fields were joyful, and all the trees of the wood rejoiced hearing her song:
Rejoice, O my soul, in the all-providing mercy of God!
Rejoice, for here I shall seek salvation!
Rejoice, for this is the place of mine eternal rest!
Rejoice, for this is the place of my resurrection!
Rejoice, for these trees which shield me from worldly eyes!
Rejoice, for now I must seek the hidden life of prayer!
Rejoice, for the night is far-spent and day is at hand!
Rejoice, O my soul, and awake that thou be not found heedless!
Rejoice, good instructress of monastics!
Rejoice, that we may desire thy godly fervour!
Rejoice, thou whose prayers have hallowed the air!
Rejoice, thou whose tears have purified the earth!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 4
Who can describe the storm of temptations which assailed thee during thy fifteen years in the desolate, lonely wilderness, O thou set as a hart upon thy high places? For in thy humility thou didst ever strive to hide thy virtue. But now thou art glorified by Him whom thou glorifiedst in thy life, crying: Alleluia!
Ekos 4
Kneeling upon a rock, thou builtest thy spiritual house upon the Rock that is Christ and a fulfilment of His Commandments, mortifying thy flesh and routing the hordes of the demons; and even we, whose ascetic efforts are as the wings of a fly take courage from thy victory, hymning thee thus:
Rejoice, O Melangell, pillar in the eternal temple!
Rejoice, shining foundation of the new Jerusalem!
Rejoice, marble tablet inscribed with the Lord's new name!
Rejoice, adamant of noetic vigilance!
Rejoice, bastion of obedience to the divine behest!
Rejoice, tower of strength against the dark forces of hell!
Rejoice, rampart against despondency!
Rejoice, unconquerable fortress of purity!
Rejoice, living stone, may we attain such unwavering resolve!
Rejoice, thou altar, consecrate our souls to holiness!
Rejoice, white stone of victory, strengthen our hearts to resist temptation!
Rejoice, thou who leadest me to the rock that is higher than I!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 5
Though hidden from human eyes, creation beheld thee as a star O holy one; wild beasts became docile in thy presence and timid creatures grew fearless. Raising its eloquent hymn of praise, thy valley sang its new song unto the Lord: Alleluia!
Ekos 5
"And the wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid, and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them." We who reap the bitter fruit of Adam's disobedience in Paradise see in thee O Melangell hope for our own restoration to life, singing to thee thus:
Rejoice, faithful fulfiller of the Commandments of Christ!
Rejoice, icon of trusting obedience!
Rejoice, thou in whose garden the Lord walked with joy!
Rejoice, thou who heldest sweet converse with Him even at the sixth hour!
Rejoice, willing bearer of His easy burden and light yoke!
Rejoice, thou who now partakest of the Tree of Life!
Rejoice, for thou madest of thy valley a paradise!
Rejoice, for through thee it is now a step away from Heaven!
Rejoice, thou who paintest anew for us the colours of creation!
Rejoice, thou who teachest all to honour its grandeur!
Rejoice, bridge spanning the chasm of our sins!
Rejoice, thou who dost guide us across it in safety!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 6
After long years alone, battling against the powers of the air, O thou who castest lightning from Heaven, thy gentle hands upraised in prayer proved mightier than the foray of an earthly prince, who, seeing manifest the harmony in thy valley, was wroth, paralysed and unable to cry: Alleluia!
Ekos 6
Touched at last by divine grace which is able to reach down into our deepest darkness, his heart was converted; and, from the depths of his soul he was moved, O Melangell, to sing thy praises:
Rejoice, revealer of the unrepentant!
Rejoice, terror of the demons!
Rejoice, wakener of souls in the sleep of sin!
Rejoice, thou whose godly love pierceth hearts of stone!
Rejoice, dew that quenchest the flame of the passions!
Rejoice, blinding flash of purity!
Rejoice, gentle light of the holy glory of Christ!
Rejoice, unexpected joy of contrition!
Rejoice, soft radiance of the Light that knoweth no evening!
Rejoice, divine splendour, renew my darkened life!
Rejoice, lamp brimming with the oil of the virtues!
Rejoice, thou who art a beacon, deign to lead even me to salvation!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 7
Desiring to reveal a ray of true light amid this age of mirage and delusion, the Shepherd of our souls led likeminded maidens to thee, for they saw in thee a teacher of the one thing needful, and devoutly placing their lives under thy protecting mantle, they sang: Alleluia!
Ekos 7
Though rejoicing because of the amnesty granted thee, and loving thy solitude, thou didst not oppose this new visitation from the right hand of the Most High, receiving all who came to thee, and lowering thine eyes in deepest humility, thou didst move them and us to pray:
Rejoice, restorer of wayward hearts!
Rejoice, guide of blinded souls!
Rejoice, thou who leadest our feet in the way of peace!
Rejoice, for we too seek the Dayspring on high!
Rejoice, thou whose eye was wholly single!
Rejoice, thou whose soul was full of light!
Rejoice, good instructress of the young!
Rejoice, kind support of those venerable in years!
Rejoice, thou whose care constraineth us to seek the heavenly Prize!
Rejoice, thou whose zeal stirreth us to run the race set before us!
Rejoice, uplifter of our feeble hands!
Rejoice, make firm my faltering steps!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 8
Desiring to immerse themselves in the sweet serenity of thy shrine, O thou who givest good gifts unto thy children, pilgrims began to flock to thy monastery's enclosure from near and far, fugitives found sanctuary, the oppressed a respite, and weary travellers found refreshment for body and soul, raising their grateful song: Alleluia!
Ekos 8
Grant us also, O Melangell, who are strangers and exiles in this world, a cup of cool, living water for the sake of Christ, from thy beloved hands which are ever extended to embrace thy flock, debtors because of our sins but who pray:
Rejoice, for thy hallowed place was a haven in troubled times!
Rejoice, for thine icon guards us wayfarers to this day!
Rejoice, thou who meetest us in our times of decision!
Rejoice, fellow traveller along our winding paths!
Rejoice, welcomed guest at the Master's table!
Rejoice, humble servant of all those bidden to His feast!
Rejoice, thou whose name is as the music of harps!
Rejoice, thou whose works are a hymn in praise of God!
Rejoice, thou whose intercession for us is a lighted doorway!
Rejoice, thou who teachest us the hospitality of mercy!
Rejoice, warm my cold heart at the hearth of repentance!
Rejoice, help me to set a watch before my mouth!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 9
Having flown across the Jordan of this life, O thou who hast thy pinions covered with silver, thou standest now on Canaan's side amid the angels and a great cloud of witnesses. While we, the last, tossed about in our scattered flight, raise our small voice in supplication: Alleluia!
Ekos 9
Princes and poets alike have honoured thee in art and song O venerable Melangell, but our words are as the lisping of children. Even so, constrained by our love for thee we sing:
Rejoice, thou who dost worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness!
Rejoice, thou whose voice adorneth the celestial choirs!
Rejoice, thou who hast reached the Promised Land!
Rejoice, thou who ever drawest our eyes thither!
Rejoice, thou who carolest the gentle breezes of our redemption!
Rejoice, thou who art a lark guiding us to the eternal springtime!
Rejoice, thou who by the grace of Christ stillest the waves of our tribulations!
Rejoice, thou who sweetenest the bitter waters of our sorrows!
Rejoice, thou whose fiery chariot was humility!
Rejoice, bestow upon me, too, a double portion of thy meekness!
Rejoice, thou who hast borne the heat of the vineyard's day!
Rejoice, strength of monastics at the eleventh hour!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 10
Desiring, come what may, to preserve thy wonderworking relics, shrine and gravestone, O Melangell, the faithful people of Pennant hid and guarded them when darkness threatened to devour the light of their remembrance, and through the sorrowful centuries their fervent prayer has risen, as quietly as the smoke of incense: Alleluia!
Ekos 10
Thou art ever a fortress for us O saint, for even during times of spiritual dearth, Christ's followers have resorted to thine aid with hope:
Rejoice, shepherdess who leadest us beside the still waters!
Rejoice, defence against soul-destroying wolves!
Rejoice, thou whose sweet song still echoeth in thy valley!
Rejoice, thou whose presence toucheth hearts unawares!
Rejoice, thou who meetest us at the crossroads of our lives!
Rejoice, gentle guardian through the dark night of our soul!
Rejoice, thou who leadest us amid the encircling gloom of doubt and unbelief!
Rejoice, thou who keepest our feet from straying onto the broad road!
Rejoice, our staff in climbing the steep and narrow way!
Rejoice, our guide, for we walk in darkness!
Rejoice, thou who pointest the way to eternal Life!
Rejoice, guide us in the way where light dwelleth!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 11
Though every tongue seemed stilled, yet rock and stone have been revealed as messengers, bearing glad tidings to hearts and eyes longing for a sight of thee, O thou who takest thy wings toward the dawn, for lo, in this our latter generation, thy shrine once more graceth the countryside of Powys; and pilgrims, numberless as the sand flock to it, with the joyful sound: Alleluia!
Ekos 11
As a candle upon a candlestand art thou O Melangell, after thy long vigil, until the Knower of all things manifested thy light in the midnight of this world; and filled with wonder we say:
Rejoice, thou who art a sign of renewal for Orthodoxy in Wales!
Rejoice, fulfilment of an ancient hope!
Rejoice, icon of meekness and authority!
Rejoice, shrine of strength and healing!
Rejoice, for in our joy, night is become radiant!
Rejoice, for through thee a new day is dawning!
Rejoice, dewdrop reflecting the Morning-star!
Rejoice, gentle rain bringing newness of life!
Rejoice, consolation for weary fishers of souls!
Rejoice, for through thee many stray lambs are carried home!
Rejoice, kind tutor of children!
Rejoice, thou who lovingly nurturest spiritual babes!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 12
Falling to our knees before thy holy relics, we give voice together with a sea of travellers who, over time, have sought thine aid; can it be that such a joy should be granted to us the unworthy ones! For all who bring to thy feet our world of burdens find solace beneath thy comforting mantle: Alleluia!
Ekos 12
Within thy church, the baying and clamour of the world is hushed and in that place of prayer, clarity is restored. Many come away healed of bodily illnesses and all find refreshment as we sing:
Rejoice, our unfailing intercessor!
Rejoice, thou who standest before the Lord with the children He hath given thee!
Rejoice, healer of our bodies!
Rejoice, gentle physician of our souls!
Rejoice, profound peace amid an age of tumult!
Rejoice, calm amid a life of chaos!
Rejoice, thou who desirest that our distracted hearts be attentive!
Rejoice, thou who desirest that we share in thy Sabbath rest!
Rejoice, pray for me that I may walk softly in the presence of holiness!
Rejoice, pray for me that I may speak with love to my close ones!
Rejoice, pray for me that I may see the beauty in all things!
Rejoice, pray for me that I may do only that which will bring joy to the angels!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 13
O most blessed mother Melangell, thou whose authority disperseth evil and whose meekness sheltereth thy lambs, entreat the Lord and Shepherd of our souls that in His mercy, He may vouchsafe us to run the good race set before us, to win the heavenly Prize, that ever rejoicing with thee in the eternal bridal-halls, we may unceasingly sing to our Bridegroom: Alleluia!
O most blessed mother Melangell, thou whose authority disperseth evil and whose meekness sheltereth thy lambs, entreat the Lord and Shepherd of our souls that in His mercy, He may vouchsafe us to run the good race set before us, to win the heavenly Prize, that ever rejoicing with thee in the eternal bridal-halls, we may unceasingly sing to our Bridegroom: Alleluia!
O most blessed mother Melangell, thou whose authority disperseth evil and whose meekness sheltereth thy lambs, entreat the Lord and Shepherd of our souls that in His mercy, He may vouchsafe us to run the good race set before us, to win the heavenly Prize, that ever rejoicing with thee in the eternal bridal-halls, we may unceasingly sing to our Bridegroom: Alleluia!
Ekos 1
A thousand angels sing thy praises O Melangell, for having beheld thy solitary struggle for love of God, thy striving after the virtues and thy victory over Satan; they welcomed thee into the habitations of the righteous, chanting to thee such things as these:
Rejoice, dove of the wilderness!
Rejoice, sparrow cherished in the hand of the Heavenly Father!
Rejoice, lily arrayed in unfading glory!
Rejoice, rose of ineffable sweetness!
Rejoice, beloved dwelling of the Lord of Hosts!
Rejoice, thou who eternally abidest in His courts!
Rejoice, tree planted by streams of living water!
Rejoice, tender olive branch of hope!
Rejoice, meek lamb, hearkening only to the Shepherd's voice!
Rejoice, thou shepherdess, ever tending His flock!
Rejoice, thou who art sheltered by the wings of the Most High!
Rejoice, thou who liftest our eyes to whence cometh our help!
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
Kontakion 1
To thee our patient intercessor and watchful guardian,
We thy lambs who flee for refuge beneath thy protecting mantle,
Offer thee our hymns of thanksgiving and devotion,
For as thy divinely-bestowed authority doth ever disperse evil,
Do thou foil the darts of our pursuing enemy,
And teach us by thy meekness that we may cry to thee:
Rejoice, O Melangell whose staff putteth evil to flight!
A Prayer to St. Melangell
O holy mother Melangell, who dwellest now in light unapproachable with a multitude of radiant, glorified ones, ever rejoicing to behold the beauty of the Lamb: we lift our voices and hearts to thee in supplication; for thou art one who hast trode this path of the Christian life before us in an age as pagan and tumultuous as our own. As thou chosest earthly exile from thine homeland, spurning thine imperial lineage, wealth, glory and a prestigious marriage, to become a citizen of Heaven and a bride of Him who eternally loveth mankind and sacrificed Himself for us, instill in us courage to count all things here below as nought, for the sake of those eternal blessings. And as thou didst abandon earthly honour and comfort, subjecting thy body to the harsh asceticism of solitary vigils, kneeling in prayer upon a stone slab for fifteen years without seeing another human face, do thou teach us to seek for that completeness which no longer seeketh the false consolations of this world. And as thou art known to be the protectress of small, helpless creatures, help us to nurture and protect our souls as little children, without whose presence we shall in no wise see the Kingdom of Heaven. Thou art revealed as a healer in our days; and we ask that in thy kindness, thou intercede for our loved ones who are suffering, whose names are remembered daily before thy venerable relics.
Thy wisdom was sought, not only by those desiring to embrace the monastic life under thy guidance, but by other anchorites abiding in stillness in the valleys round about. Ye did all drink abundantly from the Fountain of Immortality and now we beg you: pray that our hearts be cleansed through repentance, that they may worthily receive a few drops of that same life-bestowing spring, who together with His unoriginate Father and the All-holy, good and life-creating Spirit is worshipped and glorified now and ever and unto ages of ages, amen.
Troparion to St. Melangell Tone 8
Preferring the rigours of monasticism to worldly status and marriage, O pious Melangell,* thou wast fifteen years on a rock, emulating the example of the Syrian Stylites.* Wherefore, O Saint, pray to God that He will give us strength to serve Him as He wills,/ that we may be found worthy of great mercy.
So, there we have it. Seven years have come and gone. That seems somehow significant! I've seen a lot of changes come and go both in the church and in me, but that truth, that knowledge that is indescribable, that thing which is more than logic and beyond mere emotion has kept me here, has made me learn and grow and keep on going when a lot could have made me stop. I am fundamentally where I need to be. I would die a spiritual death if I were not here. Of this I'm certain. So, upon this day of joyful recollection and peaceful contemplation, I will simply say: Glory to God for all things!
Deo Gratias!
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